Politics : Lies, damned lies, and statistics


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Ramlal’s NANAJEE (maternal grandfather) had this unique manner of explaining tough concepts. For some his satire was simple outstanding. He once told Ramlal that for majority of people principles are like gold jewellery. Just like gold jewellery is for weddings, festivities and special occasion one should talk about principles occasionally, say couple of times a year. For rest of the days as jewellery is for lockers; safe and sound, so should be principles. That’s the way of politics. That’s the way to success.

Obviously Ramlal was too young to understand. But now that Ramlal is in his late thirty’s he has some appreciation of the world around him. He now has a fair understanding that we currently have a self-professed progressive government at the center, so committed to BHARAT NIRMAN that it is spending more than 400 crore on advertisement handouts. What for? Just to reiterate its progressiveness.

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Ramal is equally aware of another 500 crore spend by challenger; another self professed ‘development messiah’ who has repeatedly lost his face on account of raping the secular structure of our country; presiding over the mass murder on communal ground. But then as they say, ‘CHODO KAL KI BAATAIN KAL KI BAAT PURANI’ (loosely translated in English as forget the past, that’s gone by)

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Anyways as the rumors about on airtime being leased, front page of newspaper being bought, media house’s collaboration with political parties, started making rounds Ramlal, wisely though, decided that he will devote equal amount of time for each party. Hence, impartially he devotes a day to a party, party sponsored advertisements & party sponsored news. He thinks that this is the only way through which he will get a fair understanding of each party’s view & counter-view.

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He followed his routine for a while. Here’s what Ramlal now understands about India’s current situation.

What he gets sure about on Mon-Wed & Fri?

Our prime minister is simply the finest example of a man who came to office with an impeccable track record and will now without question leave with his reputation irreparably damaged. His integrity; 2G spectrum scam, the coal block allocation & Antrix-devas deal, all scams that lead directly to his doorstop; is now questionable. His ‘coalition dharma’ remark makes him & his corrupt party  a no-option in the current election

& alternatively

UPA’s BHARAT NIRMAN dream has more-or-less come true. Primarily because of impeccable policy execution & sheer commitment to fulfill all promises that party made in last lok sabha elections.

On Sundays

India’s only hope is group of ‘clean’ candidates. Some of them working professionals, others with exemplary work records (either in corporate or social/public sectors) are preparing for lok sabha elections. This is the middle-class opportunity to seize the day.

It is increasingly getting confusing for Ramlal who just refuses to go with tide and insist on facts. As for facts RAMLAL’s NANAJI (wise old man) has another adage which goes like this, “Lies, damned lies, and statistics”

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Ramlal & Mathematics: horribly anxious moments ahead


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“I would like to ask you a question that requires an honest answer.” After a pause, Ramlal slowly scanned the faces of ten students enrolled in his recently launched mathematics course. And after the pause Ramlal continued, “How many people in this classroom feel some anxiety about mathematics?”

Not to Ramlal’s surprise after initial hesitation almost all the hands were up. Ramlal said, “Please keep your hand up and look around.  Just notice that you are not alone. There are two subjects that make almost every student anxious – first being mathematics and second foreign language. While most people leave foreign language without attaining fluency, almost everyone fears mathematics & would feel bricks in their pants even if asked what 10% of 30” is?”

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Ramlal continued, “I have spent some time on this fear psychosis & according to me the reason is simple. Whenever you are asked a simple mathematical question your brain tells you, Oh! Shit, not again. This time you will be caught. You will get it all wrong & people sitting around you will boo you. They will see right through you and recognize you as a ‘Duffer.’ May be they will not hoot but will definitely make you feel sick. Better pick a calculator or better just say you don’t know. You can’t learn this. This is too tough.”

So according to Ramlal it is simple; our brain tells us it is Better to be safe than sorry. The other reason, (let me clarify according to Ramlal), why mathematics makes student anxious is because this subject comes around as precise and disciplined step by step stuff to a logical conclusion. You know you can’t have two answers to one question. Mathematics for a huge lot of students is not one of the most creative ventures in the world, with discoveries made by drawing, jotting, erasing, and crossing out pictures. There is nothing that is left to imagination. Almost everything that we have to solve can be solved only one way because it was constructed to give one answer. That’s boring for a huge lot of people. “I know a lot of students who will have, “Maths! Please grow up. How long do you want others to keep on solving your problems”, written on the first page of their mathematics course book” ramlal further added

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Ramlal once asked a student, a not so good in mathematics student, “What goes in your mind when you are in mathematics class?” and student replied, “Ramlal sir, my brain always in the first few seconds concludes that all problems are “Nonsense”. It makes no sense to me to find what the age of ‘bharti’ is if her sister ‘neetu’ is twice as old as she is. Then my brain after a while tells me that if everyone else in the class finds some sense & relevance then it must be something wrong with me. It is at that point that I conclude that I am not good in maths.”

Does mathematics makes you anxious as well? Share a few incidents about your encounter with Mathematics

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What’s the fuss about? Legalize it & move on. I have a whole list of minuscule group of sexual lunatics waiting for their turn for legalization.


As usual I was in a discussion with a learned friend today, (I think “Baat karne se baat banti hai” should be my blog page title because it is these conversions with friends & mentors that prompts me for most of my posts) when he quoted Rigveda, one of the four canonical sacred texts of Hinduism. He said and I quote, “Rigveda says Vikriti Evam Prakriti (Sanskrit: विकृतिः एवम्‌ प्रकृतिः। meaning what seems un-natural is also natural. It is this quote through which my learned friend claims that Hinduism recognizes the homosexual/transsexual dimensions of human life, like all forms of universal diversities.

Not just this, once back home I heard Vikram seth on national news channel sending a message to gay community to not give up hope & sharing a new poem that he wrote last night; sharing a message infact on what is natural or un-natural.

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Not to forget Vikram seth on India today’s cover page a month back holding a slate reading “Not a criminal”. I have also not forgotten Amartya Sen (another learned man) demanding repulsion of section 377 of the IPC. And just like them many other prominent Indians saying, ‘In the name of humanity and of our Constitution, this cruel and discriminatory law should be struck down.

Who can forget United Nations urging India to decriminalize homosexuality by saying it would help the fight against HIV/AIDS. Their argument being that decriminalization would allow intervention programmes, much like the successful ones in China and Brazil

But nothing doing as Supreme Court of India upheld Section 377 sometime in December 2013.

Soon after that a new drama started; with religious groups, obviously religion agnostic supporting the decision saying somewhat like this, “This is a right decision, and we welcome it. Homosexuality is against Indian culture, against nature and against science. We are regressing, going back to when we were almost like animals. The SC had protected our culture.

Ramdev, the best known yoga guru India has produced, claimed that he can cure homosexuality through yoga and it’s a “bad addiction”

Alright, much has been said on the issue & obviously this is just a start. Here’s what my opinion is: Please legalize this quickly. I am truly with Vikram seth’s position, “Just because a population is miniscule do you forgo their fundamental rights? It’s ethically hollow and intellectually shallow”

& once you are done with this, i.e.legalizing gay stuff, I will start another such idiotic demand, “Legalize Pedophilia” download (2)(by the way just in case you don’t know what pedophilia is it is a psychiatric disorder in which an adult or older adolescent experiences a primary or exclusive sexual attraction to prepubescent children, generally age 11 years or younger). Well! This definition will be contested soon. The minuscule group will contest that it is not a psychiatric disorder because un-natural is also natural & because it’s a fundamental right, shallow & hollow & blah! Blah!

So you will then be legalize this one as well. And I will not stop at that because I will by then will have a list of all minuscule groups with all weird kind of sexual interests; some will have interest in objects, other in situations; while leftovers in individuals that are highly atypical. Let’s legalize all!!!. Shout & pour your hate mails now

What’s Trending : Muzaffarnagar is giving birth to Platoon of “SUICIDE BOMBERS”


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Do you know what’s trending in Muzaffarnagar (UP, India) these days? No, this trend not in daily newspaper; is neither debated on news channels nor discussed among informed/intelligent Indians. It is also not trending on twitter, tumblr or Facebook. But people in Muzaffarnagar are murmuring that a small town in UP is giving birth to a platoon of “SUICIDE -BOMBERS”.

Want to know about Muzaffarnagar roits watch: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lqSLFn4TvX0

They claim that battered & bruised youngsters, under the influence of various charismatic religious leaders will soon choose a straightforward route to self-fulfillment. Many of them will soon board planes or trains, with the intention of killing as many civilians as possible?

I am not worried whether or not we will be able to stop them. I know like Fenians (Irish anarchist group), Macedonians, Hindu nationalists (among them the killers of Mahatma Gandhi), Fascists, Maoists, Guevarists, Red Brigades, Red Army Fractions, Palestinians and even al-Qaeda’s jihadists we will FAIL in STOPPING them.

What I am worried about is that is this going to end? … EVER? & What I am terrified about is the truth is that wave is never going to pass, it will merely change.

You call them anarchists and define them as people who believe in no government or you call them jihadists and define them as people who believe in imposing a particularly rigid form of government on everyone; their followers are & will continue to take to the BOMB. Men seized with a sense of injustice, or purpose, or hatred, or inadequacy, will continue to resort to bloodshed

We will catch a few; sometimes we will catch them even before the terrible act. That will argue for excellent intelligence and police work. I am sure at times we will resolve some of their grievances that they lend as justification for their attacks. That will argue for good political action. But the wave will never end. What do you think?

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Sushma Swaraj & Sheila Dikshit: Ban Assembly Elections in Delhi (India) b/w September – December


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“Desh mera rangrez re babu, ghaat ghaat yahan ghata jadu”, Trust you have heard this song earlier. Well! If not just click http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fG9LH8uLkA & enjoy. Trust will help in context setting.

But the post is not about this song. Post is actually about why S Sq (That’s Shiela & Sushma) + Bhairon Singh Shekhawat, all three chief ministers of Indian States don’t want any election in  India b/w September to December. Understandable, only if one can appreciate the ordeal/trauma that all three have gone through.

& well some would say Election Commission should alter its time table, considering that there seems to be some merit in S Square’s (Shushma & Sheila) + BSS’s argument. The first “S” lost her right to chief minister’s office in 1998 owing to Onion Price rise & obviously onion price rise was a major factor in second “S’s” loss as well. BSS lost his seat in 1998 again owing to Onion price rise. Besides Onion what’s common in all three cases is that all contested their respective assembly elections b/w Sep – Dec.

Now let’s discuss the merit in the argument, “No elections b/w September to December”. For those who are not aware India happens to be the second largest producer of Onion with approx. 26% of world’s produce from Indian farmland (www. cci.gov.in). Indians need Onions as part of daily food.

Onion crop has a discrete seasonal (i.e. inter year variation) pattern which follows remarkable regularity, i.e every January, September & October produce dips to lowest & every November, March , June produce is at its highest. Another interesting point is that every fourth year produce is the lowest in a five year period. To make matter worse the lean season also happen to be coincided with start of major festivals and ceremonies like marriages, Dasera, Dipawali, Eid, Chrismas.

So here’s a quick linkage: Delhi assembly elections held around October in 1998; was the 4th year of the 5 year cycle that we talked about & to make matter worse month was October. Lowest produce month in the lowest produce year coinciding with highest consumption period primarily on account of festivities resulting in steep price rise. Late 2013 early 2014 assembly elections were no different; Same trend. Media created a “ho-hallah”, arguably that’s what they do best, and opposition used the opportunity and rest we all know.

PS: not to mention Onion robbery:  December 23 of 2010 in The Times of India, a leading Indian newspaper daily ran an article titled “The Great Indian Onion Robbery”. The starting paragraph of the article stated speculative traders are making super-profits by fixing prices in the onion trade while the government is playing around with ad hoc fixes. But that’s for some other time.

So there is merit in the argument “No elections b/w September to December”